Tuesday, May 02, 2006
If you asked me at the beginning of Great and Holy Lent what my first post back in the blogosphere would look like, I wouldn’t have told you anything resembling what this post will in fact be. This Lent, I must say left the deepest mark of any Lent thus far. And, perhaps that is fitting with a Lent that I actually dreaded.
This was my ninth Lent as a Christian and my fourth time through the season in an Orthodox context. In discussing this previously unknown dread of Lent with several people, the conclusion that seemed to make the most sense was simply that all the glitter and loftiness had finally worn off, and what stood before me was a real endeavor of spiritual work.
In the end, I wouldn’t say that I came out of it as some ascetic victor, some grand vision of a hesychast for all to marvel at, quite the contrary. However, what I did discover was that the struggle was worthwhile. I’ve had my doubts in the past, but for me this Lent confirmed that my doubts were wrong. I feel changed and I want to continue in that change. This all must sound very abstract to the reader, and I apologize for my poor ability to communicate these concepts.
All of this to say, I will no longer be posting with any regularity in the blogosphere. This July would have been the third anniversary of The Munkee. I find it a bit more than ironic that this blog, which was named for my own delusions of grandeur in the life of the Church, is now being shut down by my participation in that life. I find it beautiful and I find sadness there, beautiful because the powerful medicine that the Church gives to all its faithful is real. Sad, because there are so many of you out there that I appreciate and admire and find encouragement from, and with whom my only contact is the blogosphere. I will check in from time to time, and I’ll always be reading Sara’s blog, but for now this blog is on inactive status.
For now, good-bye.
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